Faith, Life, Wellness

Tattered

I haven’t been involved in Free Flow Fridays in a long time. Life does get busy but sometimes I just didn’t feel like being involved this way. I think that’s OK. This one minute writing exercise is helpful if only you will allow it to help you. Today it remined me of the place in which I am coming from, learning from and growing from. I was so broken that all I knew how to do was hurt those around me. But you see I am not that person anymore thanks be to God. I no longer sit at a place of being ashamed, or feeling guilty, or not even liking myself. You see Jesus has forgiven me and I have finally chosen to walk in His forgivenes. It has been a struggle but I am at a better place because of it. Here is what I wrote in the 1 minute time that was given.

In this life we all get tattered. Things happen in our life sometimes that is beyond our own control and some things are just consequences of actions that we have taken. Either way we are tattered, bruised, a little troubled but at the same time we can find healing. The pages of our tattered stories need to be shared so that we can receive the healing that is needed. Our minds may be tattered, our soul tattered, our bodies tattered but I know a man that will take your tattered life and make it new. Will He remove that tattered scars from your life maybe. This newness I speak of is not wiping what you have been through away but allowing you to get to a place where what you have been through no longer dictates your life. He gives you peace in the situation even though the situation is chaotic. You see this tattered life is not my own but His to carry. Because He has taken my tattered life I am new in Him. I am loved regardless of how tattered I may be. It does not make me any less of a person. For in Him there is beauty within my tattered soul. For in Him there is hope for my hopelessness. For in Him there is love unconditional. You see this tattered soul can open up and be free to share her tattered story and know that I have freedom in Him. 

You see having a tattered life should never dictate who you are. Its what you do with your tattered life that makes all the difference. You were meant to soar.

https://theviewfrommywindow2016.wordpress.com/2016/09/30/tattered/

Faith, Life, Wellness

You’re Invited – The Invitation

The Invitation

Image result for images of life group from the bridge markham

“Gather and Group”

I’ve been involved in a life-group for more than 2 years now.  In the beginning it was hard. I didn’t know the people. To be honest, I found being around new people quite intimidating. Having major trust issues. For most of the first year I was very guarded. I was afraid of being hurt and known.

Towards the end of year one is when I began to open up more. So within year two I was learning much more about myself within this group settting. I was able to do do this because my life-group members were very transparent, which was refreshing to me. They showed me that being yourself was just ok. There was no need for pretense.  They showed me no judgement, and because of their love and acceptance I was able to open up even more. I was becoming  a new person. I was being changed because of my groups openness, honesty, trust and transparency.
Within that second year I found myself wanting more. More of the community and love that they had shown me within the first year.  I wanted to be a part of their life and share in the joys and pains that they experienced. I wasn’t sure how this would be done but this was where I wanted to do.

One day I saw a blog post called “Row Out Wednesdays”. That is when I decided to become more intentional with my relationships within and outside of this group. It meant that I would have reach out. It meant that I would allow myself to be more vulnerable. It meant that the level of intimacy would have to be deeper. It meant that I would have to trust Jesus more than I ever have before.
This is what Jesus wants for us. To want to know him more and have a deeper relationship with Him. We thrive better within community than on our own. Our community can be a church group, family, friends or a group where you share the share the same likings with someone.

I know this will not be easy for me but I look forward to connecting with my life-group and others on a different level.

Diet, Faith, Life, Wellness

Uncomfortable In My Own Skin

For years I have struggled with my weight. Just being uncomfortable about how I looked. I wasn’t the healthiest person either. I started out losing 10 pounds the year my cousin died, wish I could remember the year. Oh well. I felt really good in my body. I was exercising and eating healthier. Although I was happy with the way I was looking on the outside something was missing on the inside. I continued to lose weight until I was down by 10lbs.

Needless to say the weight came piling back within a year and it was that same 10lbs that I had lost. This weight gain and lose continued for many more years. Some of it emotional  weight gain. But thats another story in itself.

Once again I would find another program, lose the weight, feel good about how I looked but still feeling empty on the inside.

One year I joined a womens gym. I was so excited. I got a personal trainer and a nutritionist. Theses ladies were fantastic. The nutrition coach put me on an eating plan that was structured just for me. It started out rocky but a finally got into the swing of my new eating plan. This time I was determined to lose the weight and keep it off. I began seeing the results and felt a little bit more confident in myself and my abilities. My  body was getting stronger once again and I could feel it.  Wasn’t feeling flabby and I must say I was looking good also. My trainers were doing a great job and once again the weight started to come off again.

Around two years later something happened medically and I started to put the weight back on again. This continued to happen. My weight became like a yo-yo. It was a back and forth struggle with weight gain and weight loss. Sometimes I would go drastic but the end result was always similar. Feeling good in how I looked but not within. I’ve made many lifestyle changes but it’s just within the last year that once again I started to notice my weight and became unsatisfied with how I looked. My clothes were becoming an issue. The issue of being to tight which made me sick.  

I needed to figure out what I was missing. I wasn’t happy when I lost the weight and even more miserable when the weight came back on. It finally hit me one day as I looked in the mirror. I didn’t love myself. That is what I was missing all those years that I was trying to lose weight. The change didn’t need to happen on the outside but on the inside. I didn’t like my character, or who was staring back at me in the mirror. So I turned to my Heavenly Father and began to seek Him and having a better relationship with Him. I began to speak to Him on how I was feeling on the inside. He began to speak life into my soul.  So for now I just walk, do some stretches and try and eat healthier every day. I still struggle with my weight but I am feeling better about who am I and whose I am. He reminds me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. So as I begin this journey  again but this time I am in the right frame of mind and soul. For where my Father leads that is where I will go, being comfortable in my own skin.

Faith, Life

Truth Be Told or Not

Why do we find it so hard to tell the truth?

Is it because it will cause hurt to someone or even yourself? Maybe its just unnatural or hard. There is also the fear factor of being rejected or others viewing us in a different light?. Who could manage a tarnished image? Whatever the reason we choose to lie or just omit the truth.

When we don’t speak the truth it is causes damage to our relationships. We are hurting ourselves and others by not speaking the truth. We may think we are preventing hurt by not speaking the truth but we are only making it worse. Without trust our relationships can not flourish. It can only be stifled until it is cut off, which in itself is death.

At what cost do we continue to omit the truth? How long will we continue to lie to ourselves and others? What environment will cause us to be honest with ourselves and others. When we are able to do this then there will be healing. Our heavenly father wants to heal us from the inside out. Being transparent is healthy. He was transparent with us and that is what he requires of us.

What is causing you from not being healthy? What mask are you wearing? What clothes do you need to shed in order to be your true self? It is when you are able to speak the truth in light of His word that healing will begin and relationships will flourish. Let the truth touch your heart and change you forever.

Written 4/4/15