It is time that you stop trying to conform. I did not create you so that you could assimilate into what you see in the world. Allow my spirit to transform you into the image that I created for you.
You are different. You are unique. You are not like any other. You are precious. You are enough. You have a purpose. You have a gift. I’ve given you specific talents. There is only one you. Embrace how I created you.
I have been purging you from who you think you should be and who you have tried to become. Instead of running away from what I am doing run towards me and allow my spirit to guide. With my spirit leading you, you will be transformed into my likeness. Don’t be afraid of the change and don’t hold onto the old you. Be free, trust me, watch and see the new thing that I will do in you.
For years I have struggled with my weight. Just being uncomfortable about how I looked. I wasn’t the healthiest person either. I started out losing 10 pounds the year my cousin died, wish I could remember the year. Oh well. I felt really good in my body. I was exercising and eating healthier. Although I was happy with the way I was looking on the outside something was missing on the inside. I continued to lose weight until I was down by 10lbs.
Needless to say the weight came piling back within a year and it was that same 10lbs that I had lost. This weight gain and lose continued for many more years. Some of it emotional weight gain. But thats another story in itself.
Once again I would find another program, lose the weight, feel good about how I looked but still feeling empty on the inside.
One year I joined a womens gym. I was so excited. I got a personal trainer and a nutritionist. Theses ladies were fantastic. The nutrition coach put me on an eating plan that was structured just for me. It started out rocky but a finally got into the swing of my new eating plan. This time I was determined to lose the weight and keep it off. I began seeing the results and felt a little bit more confident in myself and my abilities. My body was getting stronger once again and I could feel it. Wasn’t feeling flabby and I must say I was looking good also. My trainers were doing a great job and once again the weight started to come off again.
Around two years later something happened medically and I started to put the weight back on again. This continued to happen. My weight became like a yo-yo. It was a back and forth struggle with weight gain and weight loss. Sometimes I would go drastic but the end result was always similar. Feeling good in how I looked but not within. I’ve made many lifestyle changes but it’s just within the last year that once again I started to notice my weight and became unsatisfied with how I looked. My clothes were becoming an issue. The issue of being to tight which made me sick.
I needed to figure out what I was missing. I wasn’t happy when I lost the weight and even more miserable when the weight came back on. It finally hit me one day as I looked in the mirror. I didn’t love myself. That is what I was missing all those years that I was trying to lose weight. The change didn’t need to happen on the outside but on the inside. I didn’t like my character, or who was staring back at me in the mirror. So I turned to my Heavenly Father and began to seek Him and having a better relationship with Him. I began to speak to Him on how I was feeling on the inside. He began to speak life into my soul. So for now I just walk, do some stretches and try and eat healthier every day. I still struggle with my weight but I am feeling better about who am I and whose I am. He reminds me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. So as I begin this journey again but this time I am in the right frame of mind and soul. For where my Father leads that is where I will go, being comfortable in my own skin.
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