Diet, Faith, Life, Wellness

My Current Health Situation

wp-1474730406688.jpeg

Lately I’ve been in a funk in regards to my health but sometimes it takes having a conversation with a friend to put a spin on what you are going through and show your perspective in the grand scheme of things.

I have shared with you about my stomach issues, which I am still battling. The severity of it is not as bad. I have seen a gastroenterologist blood work was done and for now I am doing a food journal. So I just write down all I eat, how I am feeling and my bowel movements. I go back to see him on October 12. He has also recommend doing a scope of my stomach. I told him I would think about it. Truth is I don’t want to have surgery again.

So from about the middle of August I have been suffering from heel spurs and plantar Fasciitis. Damn it was painful. I was seeing a Chiropractor, doing laser therapy 3 times a week. Doing the stretches, exercises and putting ice on it 2-3 times a day. I was upset and all I could see was that I couldn’t do my walking anymore. What I didn’t see was all the others things that I could do. At one point I didn’t think I would see the end. Today I can gladly say that I am walking without a limp. I go the chiropractor/Laser Therapy weekly. I am also doing gentle yoga and more body stretches.

So then last week Saturday I am at a birthday party, trying not to walk around too much because my foot still hurts a little. Later that night the back of my neck starts to hurt. When I put my hand on my neck I feel a bump, at this point it is about the size of a medium sized grape. It hurts to touch it. This concerns me. So I speak to my aunt. You see she is a nurse. She says it looks like a hair bump but doesn’t like the fact that it is hurting me. She says I should see a doctor. What you don’t know is that a bump has been on the back of my neck for a couple months. Since it wasn’t bothering me before I just left it alone. Then all of a sudden it’s this big thing that is causing me pain. On Monday afternoon I go to a walk-in-clinic and see a doctor. He looks at it, feels it and says it’s a cyst. He gave me a script for antibiotics. Says to take it for 7 days and then follow-up with my family doctor. This will happen on Monday.

So as you can see I’m not in the best place with my health or should I say my body. I am not sad, but I do know that I do not want to go into the hospital for surgery. It would not be my first time for I have been to the hospital multiple times for different surgeries. I have had a bowel reconstruction surgery, partial hysterectomy, a dermoid cyst removed, plus the countless other ovarian cyst that have been removed. I have also had a ganglion cyst removed. I have had an ectopic pregnancy and a miscarriage where a D&C had to be performed. I am not saying all of this to make you feel sorry for me. You see what my girlfriend did say is that you have been through all of that and your still smiling. You had surgeries and you healed. Even though you foot was hurting at the party you walked around with a smile on your face. You are still living. Then she provided me with a scenario of someone with cancer who has had a mastectomy, a breast implant and for them to learn that they have cancer again. Even though I am scared about having another surgery or even being in the hospital I will OK. I will go through the pain but will heal and be back on my feet again.

I am thankful that we spoke. Still unsure of what will happen but peace surrounds me, for this too shall pass. In this I can still move, use my limbs, most of all worship God. That will never cease. I don’t know what my future holds but I do know who holds my future. That alone is settling.

wp-1474731141154.jpeg

Faith, Life, Missions, Music

I Will Trust In You

wp-1474591080562.jpeg

I  love the time I get in my car while driving to work. Listening to Music is theraputic for me, especially to worship music as I am driving in my car. It is just me, the music and the Lord. He calms my fears. This morning as I was driving I was thinking about my upcoming missions trip, actually worried about whether or not I would meet my fundraising goal.

The song I was listening to was I Will Trust In You by Alynthia Lewis  when I was reminded that “Faith is the reality of what we hope for, the proof of what we don’t see.”  Just because I don’t see God moving, it doesn’t mean that He is not working. He is always at work behind the scene.  All you need right now is have faith like a mustard seed. Trust Him, Believe Him for He does not lie. When He says He will do something He will. When He ask you to do something, you must be obedient and do it. Let doubt have no place in your heart and mind. If you begin to doubt stop and remember just who God is.

He is changing your heart. You no longer are the selfish person you once use to be. Your thinking is no longer I, but us and we. You were created to move with me. Now that the scales are falling off you are starting to see the plan for what it is. Your heart is being formed like mine. I’m breaking up the shallow ground and replacing your heart of stone. I’ve put my heart in you, so you feel as I feel, you move as I move.

Your trust in me will run deep, from you shall flow rivers of living water. I will give you the words to speak when you are speechless. I am your God in whom you trust.

Here is another song in regards to trust.

Faith, Life, Music, Wellness

Let The Healing Begin

wp-1466944480791.jpeg

Your healing starts from on the inside. This is what I was reminded of this morning as many thoughts invaded my mind. Thoughts of the past, thoughts of being hurt by others, not intentionally but none the less hurt. These feelings of being hurt have been suppressed for many years, so why drudge them up now. They are in the past so they should be forgotten. You see those hurts will not be healed if they continue to lay dormant in my soul. “For what is not healed is passed down.”

As I began on this journey of being transformed so that I can be all the Creator wants me to be, I realize that He is not going to leave any stone unturned and in order for me to have wholeness. This is not the first time that my hurts, habits and hangups have been brought to me, but it is the first time that I am willing to see it for what it is, and that is to deal with it. I have blocked so many things from my mind because of the pain it has cost me, but this pain seems to be seeping in and through my body now.

The Father says “Enough is enough, you shall not hold onto these things any more for it is killing you in body,” that to me means on the inside I must be slowly dying. He says “As I bring these things into the light allow my love to restore you.”

We are all fighting battles. For me it is physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual. I have fought battles most of my life a lot of emotional and physical ones. Now I am fighting differently. You see now I choose to live. Not just coast along life but truly live, make a difference, live with intention and with a purpose. I am facing my battle head on, I will run no more not unless I am running into my Saviour’s arms. It’s scary as heck, but must be done. The Lord requires me to be whole and so with that I take up my cross ( all my hurts, hangups and habits) and I forge forward. We only have one life and it makes no sense to waste it. We do not plan when we arrive or when we leave this life, but the in between is what matters the most. We are not our own. We were bought with a price. It isn’t about us. No you see it is about others. The ones that you can speak life into by being yourself, the ones that you can impact and impart life to. You are here to make a difference and you can’t do that if your soul suffering.

Image result for brokenness

The best thing that I ever did for myself was allow Jesus to start the process of bringing healing into my life. My story is not the same as yours. I am no longer willing to be ashamed of my story for right before my eyes He is allowing me to re-write my story. My story is not my past but my past is a part of my story.  So that is what I am doing, in my brokenness I am allowing my Heavenly Father to take all of me and make it into who he created me to be, that’s where All Me For Him comes in. I shall no longer want to live in darkness, I am allowing his light to shine in and through me. This is not an easy place for me to be but it is a place that I need to be. Wont you allow Him to re-write your story.

 

 

Faith, Life

If Only for a Word of Prayer

wp-1472832120722.jpeg

“Relying on God has to begin all over and over again every day as if nothing had yet been done” -C.S. Lewis

“Prayer is not a monologue, it is a conversation”. – Andrew Murray

“Prayer is exhaling the spirit of man and inhaling the spirit of God.” – Edwin Keith

“I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had no where else to go. My own wisdom and that of all about me seemed insufficient for that day.” – Abraham Lincoln

“The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.” – Soren Kierkegaard

“Prayer is the link between God’s inexhaustible resources and people’s needs… God is the source of power, but we are the instrument He uses to link the two together.” -Charles Stanley

“Prayer is the exercise of drawing on the grace of God.” – Oswald Chambers

“Praying puts us at risk of getting involved in God’s conditions. Be slow to pray. Praying most often doesn’t get us what we want but what God wants, something quite at variance with what we conceive to be in our best interests.” – Eugene Peterson

“Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one’s weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.” – Mahatma Gandhi

“Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?” – Corrie ten Boom

“In the silence of the heart God speaks. If you face God in prayer and silence, God will speak to you. Then you will know that you are nothing. It is only when you realize your nothingness, your emptiness, that God can fill you with Himself. Souls of prayer are souls of great silence.” – Mother Teresa

Faith, Life

Puzzle Pieces

Your life is like a puzzle and I have all the pieces. I will show you the big picture when I know that you can handle it. Until then I will give you one piece at time. With the pieces that are given to you you can start to put them together and begin to see the whole puzzle more clearly. Each situation or struggle is another piece of the puzzle. These struggles come to make you strong and build up your character. Allow your heart to become more like mine.

As your heart becomes more like mine, another piece of the puzzle will be given to you. If you could handle more pieces I would give them to you. Don’t be consumed by what is happening around you. Focus on me. I will bring about the change I want to see in you.
I know what is best for you.
Each circumstance that is brought to you if you allow it, will change you. Keep your hope in me. I am building character in you. When you rely on me you are strongest. When you are not focused on me you overreact to the situations that are thrown at you. Keep your eyes on me and I will gladly prepare you for each situation that comes to you.
Remember I concurred the world. I am with you threw all things and Yes even when you go through rough patches. Begin to see the pieces fit together. All those in your life are a part of the puzzle. If a piece does not fit try it somewhere else. The pieces you have already go somewhere. You are on the right path doing what you are suppose to do. The lesson is to be learned, grow in my grace for another piece awaits you.

DSC00089