Mercy Me – Even If

 

As I find myself in a dark place and struggling with physical pain this songs brings me to a place of surrender and peace that It is well.

Take a listen, and read the lyrics.
They say sometimes you win some
Sometimes you lose some
And right now, right now I’m losing bad
I’ve stood on this stage night after night
Reminding the broken it’ll be alright
But right now, oh right now I just can’t
It’s easy to sing
When there’s nothing to bring me down
But what will I say
When I’m held to the flame
Like I am right now
I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Well good thing
A little faith is all I have, right now
But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Oh give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul
I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
You’ve been faithful, You’ve been good
All of my days
Jesus, I will cling to You
Come what may
‘Cause I know You’re able
I know You can
I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
It is well with my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul

My Current Health Situation

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Lately I’ve been in a funk in regards to my health but sometimes it takes having a conversation with a friend to put a spin on what you are going through and show your perspective in the grand scheme of things.

I have shared with you about my stomach issues, which I am still battling. The severity of it is not as bad. I have seen a gastroenterologist blood work was done and for now I am doing a food journal. So I just write down all I eat, how I am feeling and my bowel movements. I go back to see him on October 12. He has also recommend doing a scope of my stomach. I told him I would think about it. Truth is I don’t want to have surgery again.

So from about the middle of August I have been suffering from heel spurs and plantar Fasciitis. Damn it was painful. I was seeing a Chiropractor, doing laser therapy 3 times a week. Doing the stretches, exercises and putting ice on it 2-3 times a day. I was upset and all I could see was that I couldn’t do my walking anymore. What I didn’t see was all the others things that I could do. At one point I didn’t think I would see the end. Today I can gladly say that I am walking without a limp. I go the chiropractor/Laser Therapy weekly. I am also doing gentle yoga and more body stretches.

So then last week Saturday I am at a birthday party, trying not to walk around too much because my foot still hurts a little. Later that night the back of my neck starts to hurt. When I put my hand on my neck I feel a bump, at this point it is about the size of a medium sized grape. It hurts to touch it. This concerns me. So I speak to my aunt. You see she is a nurse. She says it looks like a hair bump but doesn’t like the fact that it is hurting me. She says I should see a doctor. What you don’t know is that a bump has been on the back of my neck for a couple months. Since it wasn’t bothering me before I just left it alone. Then all of a sudden it’s this big thing that is causing me pain. On Monday afternoon I go to a walk-in-clinic and see a doctor. He looks at it, feels it and says it’s a cyst. He gave me a script for antibiotics. Says to take it for 7 days and then follow-up with my family doctor. This will happen on Monday.

So as you can see I’m not in the best place with my health or should I say my body. I am not sad, but I do know that I do not want to go into the hospital for surgery. It would not be my first time for I have been to the hospital multiple times for different surgeries. I have had a bowel reconstruction surgery, partial hysterectomy, a dermoid cyst removed, plus the countless other ovarian cyst that have been removed. I have also had a ganglion cyst removed. I have had an ectopic pregnancy and a miscarriage where a D&C had to be performed. I am not saying all of this to make you feel sorry for me. You see what my girlfriend did say is that you have been through all of that and your still smiling. You had surgeries and you healed. Even though you foot was hurting at the party you walked around with a smile on your face. You are still living. Then she provided me with a scenario of someone with cancer who has had a mastectomy, a breast implant and for them to learn that they have cancer again. Even though I am scared about having another surgery or even being in the hospital I will OK. I will go through the pain but will heal and be back on my feet again.

I am thankful that we spoke. Still unsure of what will happen but peace surrounds me, for this too shall pass. In this I can still move, use my limbs, most of all worship God. That will never cease. I don’t know what my future holds but I do know who holds my future. That alone is settling.

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Mission Trip to Haiti

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This November I will be headed to Haiti on a missions trip. I have always wanted to go on a missions trip and serve, but just never did. I believe that the Lord is saying now is the time. I had plans of going to the Dominican Republic or even Africa. Haiti was not my first choice, had it not been for the prompting from the Lord I would not be going. It was a hard pill to swallow, it lead me to pray in hopes that the prompting was a mistake or misunderstanding. Boy was I wrong. In all honesty I was scared for I had heard so many unpleasant stories about this country. But God worked things out by allowing me to speak with those that had previously been on this mission trip and had stories to share. I am grateful for those stories because they put my mind and heart at ease. This made it clear enough for me to hear that God had already given me the answer to what I had been praying about. After that is was about speaking to those in charge, getting the application and filling it out, sending it off and attend the meetings. I meet some of those that will be traveling with me and on October 23 I will be meeting the rest of the team.
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From November 14 to 26 I will be in a village in Cabaret serving the people in Haiti. In this area that I will be staying in there is a church, school and orphanage. Our team will be running the medical clinic and a pharmacy. We will also be giving out food supplies. Our time will also be spent with the children in the orphanage on the compound. God has been preparing me and I am looking forward to the life changing experience that I will get from being in a different culture and environment and the relationships I will be building while I am there.
I realize that I will not be able to pay for this trip on my own so I am asking for your help. I need your help to reach my goal of raising $1600 by October 19. Any amount that you are willing to donate would be greatly appreciated. I am also asking for your prayers for team that will be traveling with me.  I have started a GoFundMe page you can check it out at Https://www.gofundme.com/2pqdfrw and please share this with others. You can also go to Mission to Haiti Canada for more information and to read previous blog post.