Mercy Me – Even If

 

As I find myself in a dark place and struggling with physical pain this songs brings me to a place of surrender and peace that It is well.

Take a listen, and read the lyrics.
They say sometimes you win some
Sometimes you lose some
And right now, right now I’m losing bad
I’ve stood on this stage night after night
Reminding the broken it’ll be alright
But right now, oh right now I just can’t
It’s easy to sing
When there’s nothing to bring me down
But what will I say
When I’m held to the flame
Like I am right now
I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Well good thing
A little faith is all I have, right now
But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Oh give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul
I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
You’ve been faithful, You’ve been good
All of my days
Jesus, I will cling to You
Come what may
‘Cause I know You’re able
I know You can
I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
It is well with my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul

These Four Walls (New)

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These four walls once held me bound. Kept me chained in like a bird in a cage. But these days, I’m a bird who is free. These four walls won’t keep me in because it’s not bigger than me. I will not look to myself for the resolution but the Giver of Life. My focus is no longer the walls but that which is higher than me. I will no longer allow pain, fear, hurt or hang-ups to hold me bound within these four walls. It won’t be easy but I will not bang my head against these walls and expect change. I have a choice and so do you. Choose to see and live beyond these walls.

If you’re still bound by these four walls; stop and take a listen. Listen for the sounds on the outside, listen to your beating heart and listen to the voice that speaks so softly to you and once again choose to see the beauty that these four walls can bring.

Whatever these four walls may represent for you it doesn’t have to be negative or destructive. These same walls that have held you down and back can be the walls which set you on a different path; where there once was bitterness there can be forgiveness. For sadness, it can be replaced with joy. If there was once chaos, you can have peace. You see these walls have helped me to see myself and the much-needed transformation that has begun. These four walls once held me bound, but now I am free.

Psalm 139:1

A prayer:

Lord you search me and you know me. You know all about me. There is nothing that I do or don’t do that you don’t know about. You know the thoughts I think and the words that I’m going to speak before I even say it. I am truly amazed at this.

Lord, I ask for you help. For years I wanted to know just your power, so that I could see the miracles. Please forgive me. Lord I now want to know the person of the Holy Spirit. Lord, please help me to know your spirit as a person so that you can envelop all of me.

Lord, help my unbelief in the area of being physically and spiritually whole. May my heart be turned so that it comes after you. Soften the places of my heart that have been hardened. Wash away fear, doubt, or anything that is unhealthy and let the Holy Spirit come and reside in my heart today and forever.

Let your ways be my ways. May I truly follow you. Graft me into the branch so that I may stay joined to you and that your teaching will become apart of me. Lord, thank you for hearing my prayers.

In Jesus Name, Amen.

Provision for Haiti 

20161123_081012.jpgSo on November 14, I went to Haiti for 12 days. I was beside myself in how all of this came about. Way back in July it was just an idea, a thought that I was not willing to entertain.  It all started with a walk in the atrium at The Bridge a church in Markham. They were holding information booths after each service of all the different areas in which you could volunteer in. As I walked by the missions table something spoke to me, but I was not willing to stop or even take heed. You see I had already made up in my mind that I didn’t want to go on a missions trip to Haiti. I didn’t want to seem disobedient so I told myself that I would seek God in prayer to determine if this is what He really wanted for me. On the inside I was really hoping to hear a “No”, but of course I got the opposite answer. About a week or so into my seeking I started some questions. I got introduced to someone who had gone to Haiti previously. At this point I still couldn’t admit to myself or others that I was going to Haiti. I still had not fully accepted what I heard and would still say that it was something that I was praying  about.

One day while I was speaking to someone about the possibility of taking a trip this word was gently spoken to me “I have already given you the answer.” You see the response was still something that I didn’t want to hear. It was way to far out of my comfort zone but there was still this peace in the response that I heard. It wasn’t until then that I proceeded to tell the Lord Yes.  You see with the Yes came but Lord  I can’t go on this trip because I can not afford it. You know what He said? He said that all I had to do was ‘Just ask’. I thought to myself there is absolutely NO way I could ask anybody for money  or even to help. What I would do is figure things out on my own. I was always used to finding my own way. I began to think of ways in which I could come up with the money that I needed. I didn’t really trust in the Lord to provide for me. I did not think that this time would be any different. You see this time would for sure be different the Lord was asking me to trust in Him so that I could see Him provide for me.  I desperately wanted this but didn’t know how to go about it. In the past I would ask Him to provide and then proceed to work it out on my own.  I knew that would not be the case this time. Once again being pulled out of my comfort zone. I took the plunge and asked for help. The response was mind-blowing. I didn’t always get a yes and that was alright. This experience has proven to be most humbling for me. I can now see why He wanted me to ask. Months before…… He brought me to Haiti and now He was showing me the way that He would provide for me and believe me that’s just what He did.  The first response blew me away. It wasn’t always easy asking but knew it’s what I had to do. Another form of asking I did was start a GoFundMe page.  I also sent out text and emails to family members and friends. I even went as far as posting on social media as well. Sometimes I would begin to worry or try to figure out a way myself and then was quickly reminded that it was Him that would be providing. There was NO need to figure this one out. You see that is what I was use to. Asking God for help and then not giving Him a chance. I would lay it down before Him and then pick it back up again. He was showing me a better way. It was about me seeing Him work in my life in this area. Soon I was not only praying for provision but for the hearts of those that would be willing to support me on this journey. Needless to say God worked it out that my trip was paid for. I am beside myself. My trust in Him is strengthened because of this.

I am so glad that I went on this trip and I look forward to sharing the experience that I had and how God moved while I were there.