Faith, Life, Music, Wellness

Let The Healing Begin

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Your healing starts from on the inside. This is what I was reminded of this morning as many thoughts invaded my mind. Thoughts of the past, thoughts of being hurt by others, not intentionally but none the less hurt. These feelings of being hurt have been suppressed for many years, so why drudge them up now. They are in the past so they should be forgotten. You see those hurts will not be healed if they continue to lay dormant in my soul. “For what is not healed is passed down.”

As I began on this journey of being transformed so that I can be all the Creator wants me to be, I realize that He is not going to leave any stone unturned and in order for me to have wholeness. This is not the first time that my hurts, habits and hangups have been brought to me, but it is the first time that I am willing to see it for what it is, and that is to deal with it. I have blocked so many things from my mind because of the pain it has cost me, but this pain seems to be seeping in and through my body now.

The Father says “Enough is enough, you shall not hold onto these things any more for it is killing you in body,” that to me means on the inside I must be slowly dying. He says “As I bring these things into the light allow my love to restore you.”

We are all fighting battles. For me it is physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual. I have fought battles most of my life a lot of emotional and physical ones. Now I am fighting differently. You see now I choose to live. Not just coast along life but truly live, make a difference, live with intention and with a purpose. I am facing my battle head on, I will run no more not unless I am running into my Saviour’s arms. It’s scary as heck, but must be done. The Lord requires me to be whole and so with that I take up my cross ( all my hurts, hangups and habits) and I forge forward. We only have one life and it makes no sense to waste it. We do not plan when we arrive or when we leave this life, but the in between is what matters the most. We are not our own. We were bought with a price. It isn’t about us. No you see it is about others. The ones that you can speak life into by being yourself, the ones that you can impact and impart life to. You are here to make a difference and you can’t do that if your soul suffering.

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The best thing that I ever did for myself was allow Jesus to start the process of bringing healing into my life. My story is not the same as yours. I am no longer willing to be ashamed of my story for right before my eyes He is allowing me to re-write my story. My story is not my past but my past is a part of my story.  So that is what I am doing, in my brokenness I am allowing my Heavenly Father to take all of me and make it into who he created me to be, that’s where All Me For Him comes in. I shall no longer want to live in darkness, I am allowing his light to shine in and through me. This is not an easy place for me to be but it is a place that I need to be. Wont you allow Him to re-write your story.

 

 

Diet, Faith, Life, Wellness

Uncomfortable In My Own Skin

For years I have struggled with my weight. Just being uncomfortable about how I looked. I wasn’t the healthiest person either. I started out losing 10 pounds the year my cousin died, wish I could remember the year. Oh well. I felt really good in my body. I was exercising and eating healthier. Although I was happy with the way I was looking on the outside something was missing on the inside. I continued to lose weight until I was down by 10lbs.

Needless to say the weight came piling back within a year and it was that same 10lbs that I had lost. This weight gain and lose continued for many more years. Some of it emotional  weight gain. But thats another story in itself.

Once again I would find another program, lose the weight, feel good about how I looked but still feeling empty on the inside.

One year I joined a womens gym. I was so excited. I got a personal trainer and a nutritionist. Theses ladies were fantastic. The nutrition coach put me on an eating plan that was structured just for me. It started out rocky but a finally got into the swing of my new eating plan. This time I was determined to lose the weight and keep it off. I began seeing the results and felt a little bit more confident in myself and my abilities. My  body was getting stronger once again and I could feel it.  Wasn’t feeling flabby and I must say I was looking good also. My trainers were doing a great job and once again the weight started to come off again.

Around two years later something happened medically and I started to put the weight back on again. This continued to happen. My weight became like a yo-yo. It was a back and forth struggle with weight gain and weight loss. Sometimes I would go drastic but the end result was always similar. Feeling good in how I looked but not within. I’ve made many lifestyle changes but it’s just within the last year that once again I started to notice my weight and became unsatisfied with how I looked. My clothes were becoming an issue. The issue of being to tight which made me sick.  

I needed to figure out what I was missing. I wasn’t happy when I lost the weight and even more miserable when the weight came back on. It finally hit me one day as I looked in the mirror. I didn’t love myself. That is what I was missing all those years that I was trying to lose weight. The change didn’t need to happen on the outside but on the inside. I didn’t like my character, or who was staring back at me in the mirror. So I turned to my Heavenly Father and began to seek Him and having a better relationship with Him. I began to speak to Him on how I was feeling on the inside. He began to speak life into my soul.  So for now I just walk, do some stretches and try and eat healthier every day. I still struggle with my weight but I am feeling better about who am I and whose I am. He reminds me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. So as I begin this journey  again but this time I am in the right frame of mind and soul. For where my Father leads that is where I will go, being comfortable in my own skin.

Faith, Life, Wellness

Oh My Aching Foot

Have you ever stubbed your toe? Well of course you have who hasn’t. Well that’s just what I did yesterday. Walking👣 in my daughter’s room to deposit something and bang goes my left foot on the edge of her bed. Now don’t get me wrong I am not blind, but who needs to turn the light on when you know the placement of all the furniture. Silly me tricks are not for adults. Of course I couldn’t scream, my daughter is sleeping😴. So I quickly cover my mouth and hobble out of her room. At that point I wanted to cry.😭

Man did it hurt. Then it starts throbbing. So I do the usual thing crab some ice and put my foot up. This should do the trick. Did I say that at this point I am not able to put on pressure on my foot. I believe by morning🌅 all should be well.

So I wake up this morning bright and early ready to get my day started put my foot down and dang it still hurts. So I hobble along about my day. I’ve got a couple hours to rest, elevate and ice, for I don’t start work until noon🕛. Yes I went to work knowing very well I could barely walk.
Fast forward to 5pm when I am sitting in the doctors office. It’s a walk-in-clinic so I wait for about an hour. So glad I brought a book to read. Between reading and watching 2 boys running in circles the time flew by. The mom looked a little embarrassed. I told her no worries but she high tailed out of there. That’s what kids do they have fun.

I finally make it in to see the doctor and he does his poking and squeezing and says my toes are fine. The swelling is located around my metatarsal. He gives me a requisition for an x-ray and says to stay off my foot as much as possible. LOL. Yes, this is funny. I work with elementary kids so most of the time I am on my feet. He says “I can only give you advice”. I smile ☺. Upon leaving he tells me to take the least amount of steps to the x-ray clinic. Thank goodness it is only across the street. So I hop in the elevator. Walk to my car and drive literally 3 secs and park closer to the x-ray building. Get my x-ray done and come home. My foot is aching now, throbbing like never before. I am trying desperately not to do too much moving. It’s not working. I decide best thing to do is go to my room. Ice some more.

Now I wait for x-ray results. Doc says I should call in the morning.

My body seems as if it’s falling to pieces, even in this I hold fast to my Saviours unchanging hand. I do not ask Why but What? My journey continues.

Diet, Life, Wellness

What’s For Lunch

I hope today finds many of you well and in good spirits.
I continue to have issues with my stomach. I have suffered with somach/abdomen issues for almost 20 years now. Diagnosed with IBS (Irritable Bowl Syndrome) in my late teens. Which wasn’t the case.

Anyhoo I am doing what the Doc ordered but I’ve  decided to change my diet as well.

I am cutting out lactose (small sensitivity), I am also taking much of the unhelathy packaged products out of my diet some of them will be replaced with gluten free items. Yah I have a sensitivity to that as well, which I learned later in life. No more tomatoes. I’m keeping my eye on products that contain tomatoes as well. Crying some real tears for I just love ketchup. I was never a bread girl so not having that won’t bother me. Is this all too much at one time? Not right now. It’s all about my physical health. Our body is refered to as our temple. We are to take care of our temple by feeding it the proper foods, exercising and getting good sleep. I have been taking care of my spiritual body by feeding on the word of God, praying and worshiping. I am taking care of my mind and emotions by mediating on the word and  practising mindfulness. So why is it that I am choosing to ignore my temple?  I’m tired of putting crap in and expecting a good result. So going forward I will watch what I put in this body. Will keep you posted on how I’m doing. Cheers

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Life, Wellness

Been a While

Good Day,

I havent posted in a while. I have been sick. I have been reading post and commenting. Some days I wasn’t even able to read.

I have been having stomach issues for a long time now. I finally decided to go to the doctor for I couldn take the burning sensation in my stomach any longer. It has been off and on for a couple of months now. Usually it would be one day here and then a couple days there. I would adjust some things in my diet and feel better. There figuring that I was alright. Im the kind of person where the doctor is my last resort. I don’t like taking antiobotics or pills for that matter.  This time was diffferent. The constant buring wasnt going away. After the second day I decided to visit the doctor. My Dr. knows that I only go and see her when I can’t handle things on my own. Its like being in a relationship with Jesus. He wants us to come to Him for everything. I am learning to lean on Him more for everthing and not just the big things.

I have had a lot of stomach/abdomen issues throughout my life.  Last year I had H-Pylori (another stomach thing).  I was on some heavy antibiotics for a week. It wasnt a pretty thing.  Laid up in my bed not able to do much. I am learning that when you are on antibiotics that you should be taking extra probitotics to protect the lining of your stomach. I wish I knew this growing up, taking antiobiotics like it was some good food. So now I believe that my stomach is all messed up.

Back to the Dr. now, she does some listening, poking and proding and asking questions. She knows me and how I feel in regards to drugs. I would prefer a natural remedy than taking a drug. Needless to say she gives me a script for Dexilant 60mg and says you need to see a GI specialist, this time I agree with her.
So that’s where I’m at. Waiting for my appointment to see the GI specialist. I won’t be anxious because I know my Father has me in His hands. There is nothing that He will not see me thru.
I have been taking my pills for 4 days now. It’s up and down but grateful that I am not getting any worse.