Mercy Me – Even If

 

As I find myself in a dark place and struggling with physical pain this songs brings me to a place of surrender and peace that It is well.

Take a listen, and read the lyrics.
They say sometimes you win some
Sometimes you lose some
And right now, right now I’m losing bad
I’ve stood on this stage night after night
Reminding the broken it’ll be alright
But right now, oh right now I just can’t
It’s easy to sing
When there’s nothing to bring me down
But what will I say
When I’m held to the flame
Like I am right now
I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Well good thing
A little faith is all I have, right now
But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Oh give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul
I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
You’ve been faithful, You’ve been good
All of my days
Jesus, I will cling to You
Come what may
‘Cause I know You’re able
I know You can
I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
It is well with my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul

I Will Trust In You

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I  love the time I get in my car while driving to work. Listening to Music is theraputic for me, especially to worship music as I am driving in my car. It is just me, the music and the Lord. He calms my fears. This morning as I was driving I was thinking about my upcoming missions trip, actually worried about whether or not I would meet my fundraising goal.

The song I was listening to was I Will Trust In You by Alynthia Lewis  when I was reminded that “Faith is the reality of what we hope for, the proof of what we don’t see.”  Just because I don’t see God moving, it doesn’t mean that He is not working. He is always at work behind the scene.  All you need right now is have faith like a mustard seed. Trust Him, Believe Him for He does not lie. When He says He will do something He will. When He ask you to do something, you must be obedient and do it. Let doubt have no place in your heart and mind. If you begin to doubt stop and remember just who God is.

He is changing your heart. You no longer are the selfish person you once use to be. Your thinking is no longer I, but us and we. You were created to move with me. Now that the scales are falling off you are starting to see the plan for what it is. Your heart is being formed like mine. I’m breaking up the shallow ground and replacing your heart of stone. I’ve put my heart in you, so you feel as I feel, you move as I move.

Your trust in me will run deep, from you shall flow rivers of living water. I will give you the words to speak when you are speechless. I am your God in whom you trust.

Here is another song in regards to trust.

Mission Trip to Haiti

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This November I will be headed to Haiti on a missions trip. I have always wanted to go on a missions trip and serve, but just never did. I believe that the Lord is saying now is the time. I had plans of going to the Dominican Republic or even Africa. Haiti was not my first choice, had it not been for the prompting from the Lord I would not be going. It was a hard pill to swallow, it lead me to pray in hopes that the prompting was a mistake or misunderstanding. Boy was I wrong. In all honesty I was scared for I had heard so many unpleasant stories about this country. But God worked things out by allowing me to speak with those that had previously been on this mission trip and had stories to share. I am grateful for those stories because they put my mind and heart at ease. This made it clear enough for me to hear that God had already given me the answer to what I had been praying about. After that is was about speaking to those in charge, getting the application and filling it out, sending it off and attend the meetings. I meet some of those that will be traveling with me and on October 23 I will be meeting the rest of the team.
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From November 14 to 26 I will be in a village in Cabaret serving the people in Haiti. In this area that I will be staying in there is a church, school and orphanage. Our team will be running the medical clinic and a pharmacy. We will also be giving out food supplies. Our time will also be spent with the children in the orphanage on the compound. God has been preparing me and I am looking forward to the life changing experience that I will get from being in a different culture and environment and the relationships I will be building while I am there.
I realize that I will not be able to pay for this trip on my own so I am asking for your help. I need your help to reach my goal of raising $1600 by October 19. Any amount that you are willing to donate would be greatly appreciated. I am also asking for your prayers for team that will be traveling with me.  I have started a GoFundMe page you can check it out at Https://www.gofundme.com/2pqdfrw and please share this with others. You can also go to Mission to Haiti Canada for more information and to read previous blog post.

Let The Healing Begin

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Your healing starts from on the inside. This is what I was reminded of this morning as many thoughts invaded my mind. Thoughts of the past, thoughts of being hurt by others, not intentionally but none the less hurt. These feelings of being hurt have been suppressed for many years, so why drudge them up now. They are in the past so they should be forgotten. You see those hurts will not be healed if they continue to lay dormant in my soul. “For what is not healed is passed down.”

As I began on this journey of being transformed so that I can be all the Creator wants me to be, I realize that He is not going to leave any stone unturned and in order for me to have wholeness. This is not the first time that my hurts, habits and hangups have been brought to me, but it is the first time that I am willing to see it for what it is, and that is to deal with it. I have blocked so many things from my mind because of the pain it has cost me, but this pain seems to be seeping in and through my body now.

The Father says “Enough is enough, you shall not hold onto these things any more for it is killing you in body,” that to me means on the inside I must be slowly dying. He says “As I bring these things into the light allow my love to restore you.”

We are all fighting battles. For me it is physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual. I have fought battles most of my life a lot of emotional and physical ones. Now I am fighting differently. You see now I choose to live. Not just coast along life but truly live, make a difference, live with intention and with a purpose. I am facing my battle head on, I will run no more not unless I am running into my Saviour’s arms. It’s scary as heck, but must be done. The Lord requires me to be whole and so with that I take up my cross ( all my hurts, hangups and habits) and I forge forward. We only have one life and it makes no sense to waste it. We do not plan when we arrive or when we leave this life, but the in between is what matters the most. We are not our own. We were bought with a price. It isn’t about us. No you see it is about others. The ones that you can speak life into by being yourself, the ones that you can impact and impart life to. You are here to make a difference and you can’t do that if your soul suffering.

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The best thing that I ever did for myself was allow Jesus to start the process of bringing healing into my life. My story is not the same as yours. I am no longer willing to be ashamed of my story for right before my eyes He is allowing me to re-write my story. My story is not my past but my past is a part of my story.  So that is what I am doing, in my brokenness I am allowing my Heavenly Father to take all of me and make it into who he created me to be, that’s where All Me For Him comes in. I shall no longer want to live in darkness, I am allowing his light to shine in and through me. This is not an easy place for me to be but it is a place that I need to be. Wont you allow Him to re-write your story.