Your healing starts from on the inside. This is what I was reminded of this morning as many thoughts invaded my mind. Thoughts of the past, thoughts of being hurt by others, not intentionally but none the less hurt. These feelings of being hurt have been suppressed for many years, so why drudge them up now. They are in the past so they should be forgotten. You see those hurts will not be healed if they continue to lay dormant in my soul. “For what is not healed is passed down.”
As I began on this journey of being transformed so that I can be all the Creator wants me to be, I realize that He is not going to leave any stone unturned and in order for me to have wholeness. This is not the first time that my hurts, habits and hangups have been brought to me, but it is the first time that I am willing to see it for what it is, and that is to deal with it. I have blocked so many things from my mind because of the pain it has cost me, but this pain seems to be seeping in and through my body now.
The Father says “Enough is enough, you shall not hold onto these things any more for it is killing you in body,” that to me means on the inside I must be slowly dying. He says “As I bring these things into the light allow my love to restore you.”
We are all fighting battles. For me it is physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual. I have fought battles most of my life a lot of emotional and physical ones. Now I am fighting differently. You see now I choose to live. Not just coast along life but truly live, make a difference, live with intention and with a purpose. I am facing my battle head on, I will run no more not unless I am running into my Saviour’s arms. It’s scary as heck, but must be done. The Lord requires me to be whole and so with that I take up my cross ( all my hurts, hangups and habits) and I forge forward. We only have one life and it makes no sense to waste it. We do not plan when we arrive or when we leave this life, but the in between is what matters the most. We are not our own. We were bought with a price. It isn’t about us. No you see it is about others. The ones that you can speak life into by being yourself, the ones that you can impact and impart life to. You are here to make a difference and you can’t do that if your soul suffering.
The best thing that I ever did for myself was allow Jesus to start the process of bringing healing into my life. My story is not the same as yours. I am no longer willing to be ashamed of my story for right before my eyes He is allowing me to re-write my story. My story is not my past but my past is a part of my story. So that is what I am doing, in my brokenness I am allowing my Heavenly Father to take all of me and make it into who he created me to be, that’s where All Me For Him comes in. I shall no longer want to live in darkness, I am allowing his light to shine in and through me. This is not an easy place for me to be but it is a place that I need to be. Wont you allow Him to re-write your story.