Lately I’ve been in a funk in regards to my health but sometimes it takes having a conversation with a friend to put a spin on what you are going through and show your perspective in the grand scheme of things.
I have shared with you about my stomach issues, which I am still battling. The severity of it is not as bad. I have seen a gastroenterologist blood work was done and for now I am doing a food journal. So I just write down all I eat, how I am feeling and my bowel movements. I go back to see him on October 12. He has also recommend doing a scope of my stomach. I told him I would think about it. Truth is I don’t want to have surgery again.
So from about the middle of August I have been suffering from heel spurs and plantar Fasciitis. Damn it was painful. I was seeing a Chiropractor, doing laser therapy 3 times a week. Doing the stretches, exercises and putting ice on it 2-3 times a day. I was upset and all I could see was that I couldn’t do my walking anymore. What I didn’t see was all the others things that I could do. At one point I didn’t think I would see the end. Today I can gladly say that I am walking without a limp. I go the chiropractor/Laser Therapy weekly. I am also doing gentle yoga and more body stretches.
So then last week Saturday I am at a birthday party, trying not to walk around too much because my foot still hurts a little. Later that night the back of my neck starts to hurt. When I put my hand on my neck I feel a bump, at this point it is about the size of a medium sized grape. It hurts to touch it. This concerns me. So I speak to my aunt. You see she is a nurse. She says it looks like a hair bump but doesn’t like the fact that it is hurting me. She says I should see a doctor. What you don’t know is that a bump has been on the back of my neck for a couple months. Since it wasn’t bothering me before I just left it alone. Then all of a sudden it’s this big thing that is causing me pain. On Monday afternoon I go to a walk-in-clinic and see a doctor. He looks at it, feels it and says it’s a cyst. He gave me a script for antibiotics. Says to take it for 7 days and then follow-up with my family doctor. This will happen on Monday.
So as you can see I’m not in the best place with my health or should I say my body. I am not sad, but I do know that I do not want to go into the hospital for surgery. It would not be my first time for I have been to the hospital multiple times for different surgeries. I have had a bowel reconstruction surgery, partial hysterectomy, a dermoid cyst removed, plus the countless other ovarian cyst that have been removed. I have also had a ganglion cyst removed. I have had an ectopic pregnancy and a miscarriage where a D&C had to be performed. I am not saying all of this to make you feel sorry for me. You see what my girlfriend did say is that you have been through all of that and your still smiling. You had surgeries and you healed. Even though you foot was hurting at the party you walked around with a smile on your face. You are still living. Then she provided me with a scenario of someone with cancer who has had a mastectomy, a breast implant and for them to learn that they have cancer again. Even though I am scared about having another surgery or even being in the hospital I will OK. I will go through the pain but will heal and be back on my feet again.
I am thankful that we spoke. Still unsure of what will happen but peace surrounds me, for this too shall pass. In this I can still move, use my limbs, most of all worship God. That will never cease. I don’t know what my future holds but I do know who holds my future. That alone is settling.
For years I have struggled with my weight. Just being uncomfortable about how I looked. I wasn’t the healthiest person either. I started out losing 10 pounds the year my cousin died, wish I could remember the year. Oh well. I felt really good in my body. I was exercising and eating healthier. Although I was happy with the way I was looking on the outside something was missing on the inside. I continued to lose weight until I was down by 10lbs.
Needless to say the weight came piling back within a year and it was that same 10lbs that I had lost. This weight gain and lose continued for many more years. Some of it emotional weight gain. But thats another story in itself.
Once again I would find another program, lose the weight, feel good about how I looked but still feeling empty on the inside.
One year I joined a womens gym. I was so excited. I got a personal trainer and a nutritionist. Theses ladies were fantastic. The nutrition coach put me on an eating plan that was structured just for me. It started out rocky but a finally got into the swing of my new eating plan. This time I was determined to lose the weight and keep it off. I began seeing the results and felt a little bit more confident in myself and my abilities. My body was getting stronger once again and I could feel it. Wasn’t feeling flabby and I must say I was looking good also. My trainers were doing a great job and once again the weight started to come off again.
Around two years later something happened medically and I started to put the weight back on again. This continued to happen. My weight became like a yo-yo. It was a back and forth struggle with weight gain and weight loss. Sometimes I would go drastic but the end result was always similar. Feeling good in how I looked but not within. I’ve made many lifestyle changes but it’s just within the last year that once again I started to notice my weight and became unsatisfied with how I looked. My clothes were becoming an issue. The issue of being to tight which made me sick.
I needed to figure out what I was missing. I wasn’t happy when I lost the weight and even more miserable when the weight came back on. It finally hit me one day as I looked in the mirror. I didn’t love myself. That is what I was missing all those years that I was trying to lose weight. The change didn’t need to happen on the outside but on the inside. I didn’t like my character, or who was staring back at me in the mirror. So I turned to my Heavenly Father and began to seek Him and having a better relationship with Him. I began to speak to Him on how I was feeling on the inside. He began to speak life into my soul. So for now I just walk, do some stretches and try and eat healthier every day. I still struggle with my weight but I am feeling better about who am I and whose I am. He reminds me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. So as I begin this journey again but this time I am in the right frame of mind and soul. For where my Father leads that is where I will go, being comfortable in my own skin.
I hope today finds many of you well and in good spirits.
I continue to have issues with my stomach. I have suffered with somach/abdomen issues for almost 20 years now. Diagnosed with IBS (Irritable Bowl Syndrome) in my late teens. Which wasn’t the case.
Anyhoo I am doing what the Doc ordered but I’ve decided to change my diet as well.
I am cutting out lactose (small sensitivity), I am also taking much of the unhelathy packaged products out of my diet some of them will be replaced with gluten free items. Yah I have a sensitivity to that as well, which I learned later in life. No more tomatoes. I’m keeping my eye on products that contain tomatoes as well. Crying some real tears for I just love ketchup. I was never a bread girl so not having that won’t bother me. Is this all too much at one time? Not right now. It’s all about my physical health. Our body is refered to as our temple. We are to take care of our temple by feeding it the proper foods, exercising and getting good sleep. I have been taking care of my spiritual body by feeding on the word of God, praying and worshiping. I am taking care of my mind and emotions by mediating on the word and practising mindfulness. So why is it that I am choosing to ignore my temple? I’m tired of putting crap in and expecting a good result. So going forward I will watch what I put in this body. Will keep you posted on how I’m doing. Cheers