Diet, Faith, Life, Wellness

Uncomfortable In My Own Skin

For years I have struggled with my weight. Just being uncomfortable about how I looked. I wasn’t the healthiest person either. I started out losing 10 pounds the year my cousin died, wish I could remember the year. Oh well. I felt really good in my body. I was exercising and eating healthier. Although I was happy with the way I was looking on the outside something was missing on the inside. I continued to lose weight until I was down by 10lbs.

Needless to say the weight came piling back within a year and it was that same 10lbs that I had lost. This weight gain and lose continued for many more years. Some of it emotional  weight gain. But thats another story in itself.

Once again I would find another program, lose the weight, feel good about how I looked but still feeling empty on the inside.

One year I joined a womens gym. I was so excited. I got a personal trainer and a nutritionist. Theses ladies were fantastic. The nutrition coach put me on an eating plan that was structured just for me. It started out rocky but a finally got into the swing of my new eating plan. This time I was determined to lose the weight and keep it off. I began seeing the results and felt a little bit more confident in myself and my abilities. My  body was getting stronger once again and I could feel it.  Wasn’t feeling flabby and I must say I was looking good also. My trainers were doing a great job and once again the weight started to come off again.

Around two years later something happened medically and I started to put the weight back on again. This continued to happen. My weight became like a yo-yo. It was a back and forth struggle with weight gain and weight loss. Sometimes I would go drastic but the end result was always similar. Feeling good in how I looked but not within. I’ve made many lifestyle changes but it’s just within the last year that once again I started to notice my weight and became unsatisfied with how I looked. My clothes were becoming an issue. The issue of being to tight which made me sick.  

I needed to figure out what I was missing. I wasn’t happy when I lost the weight and even more miserable when the weight came back on. It finally hit me one day as I looked in the mirror. I didn’t love myself. That is what I was missing all those years that I was trying to lose weight. The change didn’t need to happen on the outside but on the inside. I didn’t like my character, or who was staring back at me in the mirror. So I turned to my Heavenly Father and began to seek Him and having a better relationship with Him. I began to speak to Him on how I was feeling on the inside. He began to speak life into my soul.  So for now I just walk, do some stretches and try and eat healthier every day. I still struggle with my weight but I am feeling better about who am I and whose I am. He reminds me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. So as I begin this journey  again but this time I am in the right frame of mind and soul. For where my Father leads that is where I will go, being comfortable in my own skin.

20 thoughts on “Uncomfortable In My Own Skin”

    1. It is hard to do, but i find when I learn to understand love the way Christ loves us it gets a little easier. The media plays such a heavy role on what is acceptable but I have to remind myself that I am created unique and it is in this that i walk.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Great post! I’ve always been uncomfortable in my own skin. I’ve been overweight since I was a teen; a woman’s size 16 in middle school. Back then I knew nothing about Jesus or God. I know now that I am made, as you said, fearfully and wonderfully in His image. We are His beautiful daughters!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Very motivational. So many of us struggle with emotional eating. It used to be that we would lose weight when under stress, but now we gain it. Its so easy to go grab a big bowl of cereal after an argument or a bad day. There is nothing like it. Nothing compares. I love hot baths, but its not the same. For now I’m aiming for moderation. There is nothing wrong with that bowl of cereal. Good for you. Keep fighting the good fight!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is such a great post. Thank you for sharing your personal struggle many of us go through. I, too, struggle with weight but I try to see and focus more on my inner beauty while I thank God for my beautiful flaws. If you haven’t seen one of my blogs I try to post on periodically.. Check it out. Maybe you could write some posts for it.
    http://www.definemybeauty.wordpress.com

    Like

    1. I am not following that blog. I will think about writing. Not sure what I would write though. This is all new for me. I am enjoying it. I am not sure if its the writing or the wonderful people that i am connecting with.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Amen! A lot of us struggle with our weight. I certainly do, but I’ve learned that as long as I look good in my clothes, it’s fine. More importantly is not how we see ourselves, but how God the Father sees us. I am so happy to hear that you too are in relationship with him. Having a relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ will certainly help us to see ourselves and become comfortable with where we are because he knows us completely.

    In fact, our sermon for tonight will be on the scripture you quoted Psalm 139:1-12. We are fearfully and wonderfully made and that my soul knows right well.

    Good post.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Exactly learning to live myself the way the father see me and not by what I or others see. It is a struggle but being in that relationship truly helps.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Exactly learning to love myself the way the father see me and not by what I or others see. It is a struggle but being in that relationship truly helps.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Happy for you Lesa! There’s victory when you keep your eyes on Jesus.

    After my third child I couldn’t shake the extra weight no matter what I tried. Eventually, I became depressed. When I cried out to Jesus, He reminded me how much He and DADDY God loved me just as I was. Then He told me the small changes to make to my diet and activity and I eventually lost the weight. I’ve still kept it off 2 years later, but beyond the changes its because of the closeness I continue to enjoy with Jesus. I never cease to be amazed by the fact that the Lord perfects those things which concern me (Psalm 138:8)! He’ll do the same for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes Vanessa it is true it the closeness that I am having with Him. He is such a good good father. I am looking forward to my journey with Him. Thanks for your encouragement.

      Liked by 1 person

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